Water rules: passed after the cliffhanger
After a tied vote left a proposed water-use ordinance unresolved, council approved data-center water regulations unanimously at its June 16 meeting.
Read San Angelo LIVE!’s report
Breaking news · Birthday edition
Mayor turns 60 and cake becomes policy
Reports confirm that Tom Thompson turns 60 on the very same calendar square as his anniversary with Karla. City Hall is monitoring an unprecedented rise in cake, confetti, and people saying “happy birthday” and “happy anniversary” all at once.
City Hall-ish
An Extremely
Official-ish Act
Drafted by the Friends’ Council, which convened for approximately seven seconds and then ordered snacks.
Proclamation 060 · The Birthday + Anniversary Situation
Whereas, Tom turns 60 and the cake has a co-star
WhereasTom Thompson has completed 60 laps around the sun, pending final cake-based verification;
And whereasTom and Karla are celebrating an anniversary on the same day, giving one calendar square a suspicious amount of work;
Thereforeall meetings are adjourned until the birthday cake and anniversary cake situation is resolved.
This stamp has no legal effect. It has tremendous cake effect.
Emergency
Candle Desk
A highly scientific instrument built by a committee with zero measuring equipment.
Birthday drama level
All readings are made up. The celebration is extremely real.
58% festive
The Mayor’s
Actual News Clips
Real reporting from the San Angelo plotline. The birthday commentary around it is ours.
Mayor takes the mic on water and power
In a January interview, Tom Thompson discussed the proposed data center, water, and electricity. The birthday desk rates the plot as “needs more cake.”
Watch the San Angelo LIVE! interviewA mayoral recall side quest hits a speed bump
In a later report on a separate council recall, San Angelo LIVE! noted an earlier effort against Mayor Thompson fell short of its signature requirement.
Read the local-news reportFact check: Tom Thompson is San Angelo’s mayor. These links cover public reporting; the jokes, fake newspaper, proclamation, meter, and imagined quotes on this page are birthday nonsense.
Friends’ comment-section evidence
The quotes
The quotes
have arrived
“I didn’t realize you were that much older.”
Selected lines from the birthday thread; names omitted for friends-only chaos.
Happy 60th, Tom! Happy anniversary, Tom & Karla!
One calendar square. Two excellent reasons to celebrate. The friends’ council has voted to make an enormous deal about both of you, mostly because there is cake.